Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked and annoyed.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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