If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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