Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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