i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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