I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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