Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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