I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
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You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
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It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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