That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
no, he came in my armpit
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize