never play flip cup with pint glasses
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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