Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize