I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
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We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just had sex on a roof
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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