I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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