The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize