Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize