the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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