you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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