remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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