Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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