True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
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You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
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he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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