im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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