That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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