I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize