she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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