i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize