My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i black out too much to be "responsible"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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