just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize