TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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