Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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