dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize