Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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