I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize