six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I think I sprained my soul last night
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize