and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
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Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
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I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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