; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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