Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize