I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
porn star boner night. come get it.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize