On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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