Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize