I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize