maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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