Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize