That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
