I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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