Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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