I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I wear drunk well.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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