It's Friday. Sex?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
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I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
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From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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