He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize