so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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