I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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