i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
my liver is dry heaving
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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