I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
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He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
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You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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