So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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